Napoleon
arrived at Gentle Giants Draft Horse Rescue as a feral stallion, having been
previously abandoned.
We
all know the realities that face horses in this position who, through no fault
of their own, have become fearful, reactive, and dangerous. Napoleon was
almost euthanized for these behaviors. Luckily for him, he met Shelby Piovoso,
the Head Trainer at GGDHR. Through her commitment to natural horsemanship and
positive reinforcement (R+) training, she gained Napoleon’s trust and ended up
adopting him herself! The pair have grown and developed together, doing truly
remarkable things at liberty and under saddle.
This
hasn’t been without some unique physical and psychological challenges. Shelby
has noticed a shift in Napoleon’s behavior during his training sessions lately.
Understandably, he’s always been discerning and skeptical with humans. He’s seemed
resistant to learning, opinionated and obstinate, and resorts to threatening
tactics in order to communicate his dissatisfaction. However, he’s acted shameful
and deeply affected when Shelby retreats, either out of her own (valid) fear,
or out of respect for his need for processing. What a conundrum!
I
think we’ve all felt the discomfort Napoleon has been feeling. We don’t want
one thing, but we don’t want the alternative, either. In fact, we don’t know
what we want, but we feel agitated by all available options. We begin to
alienate others because we are confusing to be around, and isolation fuels the
fire…after all, effective communication takes practice.
When
someone else’s behavior affects us, it is so important to remember that he or she is probably suffering more than we are. There may be circumstances in his or her life that are limiting the ability to feel, or be, peaceful…circumstances we
know nothing about.
We’ve
all been there. As events overwhelm us, we have less capacity to give. We have
less tolerance for vulnerability. Our needs change. That’s life.
It
can be hard to be empathetic toward someone during these times, especially when
his or her behavior contradicts the essence of what we believe our relationship to
be. Things may seem inequitable. We may feel resentful. But, we are all different
today than we were yesterday, and we will all be different tomorrow.
To
really love someone is to be present within ourselves and in the space that we
share. There are always miracles hidden there!
From
the bottom of my heart, I was truly humbled when Shelby requested a session not
to necessarily work with Napoleon’s body, but to brainstorm ways of reestablishing
their relationship through touch. I could only suggest techniques that have
helped me with fearful and reactive horses, or with those that have “shut
down”.
These
include intention-setting, general body language and awareness, hand placement,
and measured pressure.
We
could call this CranioSacral Therapy, or Reiki, or any number of other things.
In the end, it doesn’t really matter how we label it.
What
does it look like? Well honestly, it looks a lot like giving Napoleon a hug!
That’s
what we did during his session. Standing body-to-body and softening our eyes…placing
one hand at the withers and the other at the center of his strong chest, and then at the
center of his soft tummy…providing deep and reassuring touch…with the intention of
sharing space and nothing else.
To
practice this with your horse, try placing your hands where you see the GREEN
dots in the picture below. Provide deep and consistent pressure, and wait
patiently.
Thoughts
come in, and they go out. Where should I touch? How long do I wait? What am I
looking for, to know if it’s “working”?
The answers to these questions lie in trust. Trust the being you are
with. Trust yourself. Trust the wisdom of the space that holds you both. Breathe
into it, and just see what happens.
We
are all gifts to each other, regardless of the choices we make.
There
is no doubt that Shelby’s and Napoleon’s relationship is deep and resilient
enough to withstand any “growing pains”. We will see what happens with a few
new tools, renewed curiosity, and loads of patience! Please hold them in your
hearts as they continue on their beautiful journey together.
